When I was in highschool I had to read the book A Day in the Life of Ivan Denesovich. I say “had to” because I was in the throws of severe depression and reading about a man struggling to survive in a work camp in Siberia was not exactly soul food.
Fastforward 13 years, and I am living my strange little life with my strange little children. Some days I contemplate the dreary life of Ivan in Siberia and I think, “Oh Ivan, I know how you feel. We should do coffee sometime.”
Momming is hard. So so hard sometimes that I am pretty sure that I won’t be able to put on foot in front of another. I read a beautiful article not long ago about the misery of motherhood. there are days that motherhood is miserable. Up until recently, I have been living on three hours of sleep each night and still running this mad mommy marathon every day. It is dark and lonely and frustrating sometimes. I love being a mom, adore my children and value them deeply. I appreciate the little lives that I am shaping, more then ever because I know what it means to fight for the life of a child. I get how fragile human life is. I love my children bigger and more fiercely then I did before I had my little Jack.
BUT I am overwhelmed. It’s a season of my life. And that is OKAY. Very okay. I can’t hire a cook or nanny or house keeper. I have an insurmountable work load and I am drowning. And that is OKAY. This is a season. A temporary time of my life. A time that I will look back on with yearning some day when I am old and no longer have a little baby to nurse and sing to.
I am thinking of all of you women out there. Some of you are mothers. Some of you wish you were. Some hope never to become one. We all have a story and we are all doing this life differently. That is beautiful. The way God designed the earth shows us that He loves diversity. It was his idea in the first place. But as much as our culture pretends also to celebrate diversity, I can see a massive prejudice among women. Stay-at-home-mom’s (SAHM’s) feel self-righteous for choosing their children over their career. Working mom’s feel distain for the yoga pants mothers who aren’t contributing to society. We are judging each other; putting each other into labeled boxes. I used to be so terrified that someone would think I was ignorant or lazy or dull because I chose to be a stay at home mom. But, after nearly a decade of mothering, I am finally confident in my choice and proud of what I do.
Because of that I am not so easily placed in a box. I am not what I do. I am not a SAHM. I am Amy.
God has a story for me and I am working it out as I go, hoping not to be too much of a screw up. We are not the titles that are given to us. We are individual souls, fearfully and wonderfully made with great purpose by a God that is a sight more smart then we are.
Come on, women.
Come on, mothers.
It’s hard enough being women without having to fend off the sting of a female assessment. Let’s stand together and be open to the fact that her story is different than yours and that is a GREAT thing. God does not want all women to stay at home with their kids. He even doesn’t want all women to be mothers. He has a unique plan for us all and the sooner we realize this the sooner we will accept this great truth:
God cares about our heart. Not our title.
Women are natural nurturers, let’s take better care of each other.
In light of these thoughts I have invited some moms that I know who come from different seasons and backgrounds of life to share a day in their lives. We are all in this together. I chose to highlight moms because this is a field that I happen to know a little about.
Tomorrow I will have the honor of introducing to you a woman I have admired for the past eight years for her unswerving grace and elegance. She has kindly agreed to take part in this little project. And I hope you swing back on by my little corner of blogland to meet her.
Much love to you all! See you tomorrow.